The NotSoUntitledShow, FFVII style
by Not-So-Untitled Document
Summary: Welcome to the Not-So-Untitled Show! I am your host, Not-So-Untitled Document (NSUD for short) Today we are interviewing the characters from FFVII, and you viewers get to ask the questions!
1. Welcome

Well, here goes another pathetic attempt at humor. Okay, hopefully the camera has not been used as a plumbing device. 3...2...1...  
  
Hello, and welcome to the Not-So-Untitled Show! I am your lovely host, Not-So-Untitled Document (NSUD)!  
  
Random Person (RP) #42: snickers from offstage  
  
NSUD: Hmmph! You're just jealous because I'm prettier than you.  
  
RP #787: hacking cough that sounds like 'as if'  
  
NSUD: Can we stop with the making fun of the host? Okay, now-  
  
RP #85: No.  
  
NSUD: I can't hear you, lalalalalalala. As I was saying, To-  
  
RP #236: Boooooo!  
  
NSUD: Where do all these random people keep coming from?  
  
Interupting Cow: I'm not a RP.  
  
NSUD: Well obvio-  
  
Interupting Cow: Moooo!  
  
NSUD: Sigh Leave now and never come back!  
  
RP #28: What?  
  
NSUD: Leave- now- and- never- come- back!  
  
RP #894: No!  
  
NSUD: LEAVE NOW AND NEVER COME BACK!  
  
sudden quiet, a cricket chirps  
  
NSUD: We, we tolds them to go away, and away they goes precious. Gone gone gone, NSUD is free!  
  
more quiet, weird looks from the supposedly gone RP's  
  
NSUD: Ahem. Okay, Today on our show we have a few VERY special guests, the playable characters and villians of Squaresoft's Final Fantasy VII (that's 7 for all you Roman Numeral challenged people). Now, I will start the questioning, but we'll need a few questions from you viewers! If you would like to ask a question, simply ask it when you review this show. We'll try to include as many as we can, so ask away! Alright, for Cloud. How much gel do you use a day?  
  
Cloud: Well, actually, I don't use any. Amazing, yes, but I happen to be a very rough sleeper who doesn't own a comb...  
  
NSUD: Interesting... Now, for Aeris. How did it feel to die?  
  
Aeris: Uh...painful? Kind of disapointing too, when it turns out it was all for nothing, since Holy didn't do a thing.... I think Sephiroth could have been a little nicer. By the way Seph, have you visited that psychiatrist I reccomended yet?  
  
Sephiroth: glares No! For the thousanth time, I DO NOT NEED A PSYCHIATRIST!!  
  
Yuffie: looks up from a list of tallys Actually, that was only the 45th time...  
  
Sephiroth: Whatever!  
  
NSUD: Hey, that's Squall's line!  
  
Sephiroth: blank stare huh...?  
  
NSUD: sigh Nevermind! So for Tifa...Do you ever have, erm...lower back problems?  
  
Tifa: Actually, now that you mention it, I do...I wonder why?  
  
Cloud: snickers  
  
Tifa: What?  
  
Cloud: Nothing, carry on.  
  
NSUD: is trying not to laugh Next question! For Cid; does your mouth taste like dirt because of your filthy mouth, or like soap from people trying to wash it out?  
  
Cid: What kind of beep question is that!??! Why you out to beep in your beep and get the beep out of here, and what the beep are you doing!?  
  
NSUD: is having fun playing with a buzzer beep beep Oh sorry, I was having fun with this buzzer and didn't hear your answer, could you repeat that?  
  
Cid: Why you-  
  
Vincent: Why don't we forget his answer and go on to the next question.  
  
Red XIII: I have a question. Why didn't I get a chair?  
  
NSUD: Sorry, no questioning is allowed at this time other than me and the viewers, please submit your question in writing at the end of this show.  
  
Red XIII: grumbles  
  
NSUD: Okay, umm...for Reno. How come you didn't get a bigger part, since your obviously the coolest Turks ever, other than Vincent of course...  
  
Reno: I was wondering the same thing. I think it has something to do with budget cuts. sigh  
  
NSUD: grins annoyingly Well, It seems like I am out of questions, so please, when you review, ask a question, or two, or three! Again, we'll try to answer all we can!! So please, review and ask away! We will now take a commercial break.  
  
[Insert random commercial here]  
((Hee hee, I inserted one of the Advent Children Trailers in my mind)) 


	2. And we're back!

NSUD: Greetings all again, I hope you enjoyed that commercial break! I've been very busy beating Kingdom Hearts and FFVII-yes, that's right, I hadn't finished it until this morning. But don't hit me because I already knew what happened and now I'm even more exited for Advent Children-if that was even possible!! But now that means I've beaten Sephiroth in two different games, and it turns out I didn't even need to beat him in Kingdom Hearts 'cause I don't have Final Mix to unlock Deep Dive!!! I killed my Sephy for nothing!?! Oh well, Another Side, Another Story was cool anyway...  
  
RP #36: No one cares...  
  
NSUD: I do, because I am obsessed with Sephiroth! Anyway, on to forcing questions on our helpless victims!! MUAHAHAHAA!!  
  
Cloud: Er...  
  
NSUD: That's right Cloud! Most people want to pick on you, so...on with the TORTURE! Ahem, I mean, questions.... From CloudRox1, Who do you like more, Aeris, Yuffie, or Tifa?  
  
Cloud: Uh...er.... -looks at all the expectant faces- I like...  
  
Aeris: -looks at him with wide puppy eyes-You like ME, Cloud, right? You said so on our last date.  
  
Cloud: Uh, sure...  
  
Yuffie: -sits on his lap- NO! Cloud, you like ME, because you said so on OUR last date!  
  
Cloud: Oh, yeah, that's right...  
  
NSUD: Hey, you sounded like Tidus just then...  
  
Tifa: -shoves Yuffie away and throws herself at Cloud- You're so funny Cloud, because you know you like ME more...You said so in bed last night!  
  
Cloud, Aeris and Yuffie: WHAT!?  
  
Tifa: Just kidding, geez...  
  
NSUD: This just proves what I've known all along!  
  
Cloud: And what would that be?  
  
NSUD: Cloud's a pimp!  
  
Cloud: Well, duh...  
  
NSUD: Then I guess It's time for the next question! Again for Cloud from IceBlue134; How did it feel to dress like a girl?  
  
Cloud: Do I have to answer this?  
  
NSUD: Yes, because I put a truth-telling potion in all of the drinking fountains!  
  
RP #94: NSUD, I LOVE YOU!!  
  
NSUD: I guess it's my turn to go 'er...'. Can someone please get RP #94 off my leg?  
  
-Kuja walks in, grabs RP #94, and walks away-  
  
NSUD: It's so nice to have bodyguards...  
  
Red XIII: How did you get Kuja as a bodyguard?  
  
NSUD: I let him be in charge of makeup.  
  
Red XIII: Ah...  
  
Cloud: -is trying hard not to be noticeable-  
  
NSUD: Well Cloud, you've avoided the question long enough, how DID it feel to dress like a girl?  
  
Cloud: Stupid truth telling potion! Grrr...It felt...free...and dresses are really comfortable, and make up really does make your face look younger...  
  
NSUD: So you liked it?  
  
Cloud: N....N....N-Yes! Stupid potion! Alright, it was fun!  
  
Tifa: o.O  
  
Cloud: Can you all please stop looking at me like that?  
  
NSUD: I knew it! Let's go on to the next question. Suprise! Another Cloud question from FFlove190; Do you truly like Sephy?  
  
Cloud: What kind of question is that!?  
  
NSUD: One that you have to answer.  
  
Cloud: I...uh...-eyes dart- Fine! YES! I like Sephy...-blushes-  
  
Sephiroth: -face reddens- I told you not to call me that in public!  
  
Vincent: Wait, what!? Cloud, I thought you said you dumped him for me!  
  
Cloud: Well, you see, uh...  
  
Sephiroth: Vincent, since when have you been going out with Cloud!? I thought you said you would be faithful to me!  
  
Vincent: Well, you went behind my back and dated him, too!  
  
Tifa: What!? Cloud!? You...  
  
Aeris: and Sephiroth...  
  
Yuffie: and Vincent...  
  
NSUD: Ooohhh, now this is getting interesting...  
  
Cloud: It's okay, I love you all, there's enough of me to go around.  
  
Red XIII: Very interesting...I wonder who else likes each other...  
  
Reno: But, Cloud, I thought you said you loved me most...  
  
Aeris: Um...Tifa...there's something I've been wanting to tell you. I think I'm in love with you.  
  
Tifa: No way! I feel the same!  
  
Aeris: Really?  
  
Red XIII: You know, I feel really out of place in this conversation...  
  
Barret: Tell me about it...  
  
Cid: I've always liked you Yuffie...  
  
Yuffie: Really? That's so weird, because I like Vincent!  
  
Vincent: o.O And I DON'T like you...  
  
Yuffie: -pouts-  
  
NSUD: Well, since we're all confessing our love for each other...Sephy, I've loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you! -hugs him-  
  
Sephiroth: Er...can we just get on with the questions?  
  
NSUD: -Is still hugging him- Alright, because the next one's for YOU! From FFlove190, Will you do a happy dance?  
  
Sephiroth: No.  
  
NSUD: Okay, then will you take off your shirt?  
  
Sephiroth: NO!  
  
Cloud: Please, Sephy?  
  
Sephiroth: I said no!  
  
Vincent: -grabs Sephiroth's shirt and pulls it off-  
  
NSUD: Yay! This one is happy now!  
  
Sephiroth: -glares-  
  
NSUD: Hey, everyone saw you shirtless at the end of FFVII.  
  
Sephiroth: Yes, but--  
  
NSUD: -hugs him again-  
  
Sephiroth: Can someone please get her off me?  
  
Cloud: I don't know...she seems to be holding on pretty tight.  
  
Vincent: Yes, and you don't want to mess with a girl who's obsessed with you.  
  
Yuffie: That's right Vinnie! -hugs Vincent-  
  
Vincent: -pulls out his gun and points it at her- Though this would be an exception.... Get OFF me...  
  
Yuffie: -pouts and lets go-  
  
NSUD: -is still hugging Sephiroth-  
  
Sephiroth: Er...can I borrow your gun Vincent?  
  
Vincent: O.O NO! It's MINE!!  
  
Sephiroth: o.O Okay.... I'll just have to settle for this! -pulls out his Masamune from nowhere-  
  
NSUD: -is still hugging him- That's a long range weapon, it can't hurt me when I'm like this.  
  
Sephiroth: Want to bet?  
  
NSUD: Erm...YES! -grabs the Masamune and runs to the far end of the set- This is my second goal in life! The first was to hug you and now I stole your Masamune!!!!  
  
Sephiroth: O.O No.... give it back! Y-you can't do t-this...  
  
NSUD: Yes I can. I beat you while controlling Cloud's body, and then while controlling Sora's! I can do it again!  
  
Cloud: You controlled my body?  
  
NSUD: Yes, I did, and so have lots of people.... Hee hee. It was really fun during the flashbacks to use you to hit Sephy because he hits you back! Really, it was cool...  
  
Sephiroth: -moves so quick that no one see's him and he grabs the Masamune-  
  
NSUD: Wha- hey!!  
  
Sephiroth: -glares evilly- NEVER touch my sword again...  
  
NSUD: -cowers- O.O okay.... Ahem. Well, since no one else asked anything, I guess we should take another commercial break... Remember, you can ask questions when you review!! There's no show if there's no questions!!!  
  
[insert random commercial here]  
((I'm imagining what Deep Dive would be like....)) 


End file.
